Hard Day

Friday:

I had a super busy day at work. Deadlines were suddenly brought forward to, like, RIGHT NOW, and it left me feeling a bit frazzled. And I had lunch an hour late to finish some urgent work, and not getting my regular calories always affects me. But most of all it is that TOM. I can't call it PMS because it isn't pre-, it's during-. I feel miserable and dazed and achy.

I got out of work late and had 11 minutes to do the 25 minute brisk walk to the school to pick up the kids. I hate being more than a few minutes late so I walked as fast as I could and even broke into a jog for a while (in work clothes and wearing my backpack). I was a little late but not too bad. But I felt exhausted by the time I got there. I asked my boy if he minded skipping gymnastics for once (he didn't mind) so we went home and I got in a hot bath then had a cup of tea.

I had this panel thing tonight, I was supposed to be one of five editors answering questions from local authors. I don't know why I ever agreed to it, I'm rather shy so the whole thing was very scary. But I was determined to fulfil the commitment even though I was feeling horrible. I had to have dinner very early, then Tim would get home and make dinner for himself and the kids while I went out.

Then I drizzled balsamic vinegar over my salmon instead of soy sauce.

I hoped for the best, maybe it would go ok with the lemon, chilli and garlic. So I put it in the oven. And overcooked it to dry blackness. And the vinegar did not taste good. So I had to throw my dinner away. My mind clearly was not working. I just couldn't cope. I emailed the panel convener with my apologies although I felt very guilty and defeatist.

My husband got home, having rushed to be here about two hours earlier than usual. He was concerned about me not going to the panel. So I cried a bit.

He made dinner and I ate it and feel a little better. But I still just want to crawl into bed, and will do so soon.

So nothing very terrible happened but it was a hard day and I am glad it is over. Or at least at the stage where I can just sit and stare blankly at the TV.